Shimmy like my Sisters
What to say, what to say....
Well, since Carly LaBuff has all my pictures from my sisters' visit, I'm reduced to words, the granola of everyone's cyber experience. So you can understand my quandary. Like granola, my words will appeal to a small minority of health-conscious individuals, but the rest of mankind must be made to see the value of my nutritional prose, or be left to wallow in a pictorally-dependent state of mental obesity.
But everyone likes itineraries, no? It's fun to look at what you are going to do; keep away from today and in the never present land of intentions! So read below in expectation of what you will never actually experience :)
Saturday: Fly into Athens. Be super-excited that there are trees and rocks. Hold strongly to the belief that the only reason you are going to take pictures is because your boyfriend said you should. Eat a delicious home-cooked meal of asian-style bbq pork, goat cheese salad, veggie stirfry, and two kinds of strawberry pie. Sleep like the baby you always wished you were.
OR
Fly into Athens. Act no different than if you were driving to Walmart to take back a pack of batteries on a Thursday afternoon. Imagine dancing. Alot. Eat a delicious home-cooked meal of goat-cheese salad, veggie stirfry, two kinds of strawberry pie. Sleep a dream of Scrabble-like dimensions.
Sunday: Take the bus to a land called Laurion. Follow a strangely cold girl around the Greek countryside for 2.5 hours, ending up only 3 miles from where you started. Eat a tasty lunch of lamb served by the biggest Jerk in Greece. Wait for the bus for an hour. Hail a cab which ends up being a Benz, go to a gorgeous cape. Enjoy scenic views and conclude that this was the best day ever. Still pretend that you're only taking pictures for your boyfriend.
OR
Take the bus to a land called Laurion. Have no clue where you're walking and don't care. Watch others eat a murdered animal. Stay peaceful in the midst of adversity. Climb down rocks at cape and splash in water. Play scrabble on the bus home, taking home the ultimate prize.
Monday: Sleep in (finally) and go see ancient marketplace. Act interested as puffed up brother spouts useless information about buildings most people are content to pose goofily in front of and move on. Understand that brother does this to justify how many times he's been to the Acropolis. Start to realize that you are taking pictures willingly, but don't tell anyone. Go meet friend while brother goes to class. Watch friend's annoying friend eat in front of you, then make you pay a euro for no reason. Buy sandals without haggling, even though there are visibly loose threads. Shrug and move on with your life.
OR
Sleep in (finally) and go see ancient marketplace. Daydream while brother talks. Follow sister to meet friend, who has brought the most annoying girl on the planet. Tied with most of the other girls you know. Imagine ways to eliminate her and get away with it. Daydream about Native Americans and Reapers (Grim and Chipper). Buy worry beads without haggling, because you're not into it. Shrug and move on with your life.
Tuesday: Follow group of gamey archaeologists around Athens. Listen to really long report and find it more interesting than most of the archaeologists. Take an unnecessary amount of pictures. Watch brother flounder through presentation, and comfort his self-deprecating persona. Eat delicious dinner and then go to the smokiest pub in the world. Socialize lawyer-style.
OR
Follow group of gamey archaeologists around Athens. Reach all new levels of daydreaming skill. Did your brother just present? Eat delicious dinner and then go to the smokiest pub in the world. Instead of talking to people, dance to the random music until a Greek man comes up to you and asks if you can do the "Island" dance. Act confused until he does it himself in the most awkward fashion possible, and then realize he is trying to say "Ireland." Do a jig to make him leave.
Wednesday: Get up late. Go to Dali exhibit, understand nothing of the Greek placards. FINALLY go to the Acropolis. Get tired of making itinerary.
Thursday: Get up late and go to Archaeological Museum. Realize there's nothing to do in Greece except look at old stones. After lunch, go into mountains to see monastary. Take pictures of flowers. Look forward to having a day where you don't walk 15 miles.
OR
Get up late and go to Archaeological Museum. Be thankful that sister only wants to see the first floor. After lunch, go into mountains to see monastary. Find small chapel with pure intuition.
Friday: Go to island with best pistachios in world, only to stand for two hours listening to nice but oblivious Austrian man talk about walls. Eat scrumptious lunch and then finally get some pistachios. Freeze on boat ride, despite LaBuff sister push-up contest
Saturday: Go to Navplio in the uneasy stick-shift-driving hands of brother. Scream because he has to brake harder than normal, shattering everyone's ear drums. Enjoy the quaint streets of Navplio, eating a tyropita, a crepe, gelato, and a bougatsa (aka, Mougatu). Celebrate some 31 year old's birthday, whose resolve to "get lit" ends when she realizes that 3 glasses of wine is more soporific than crunk-inducing.
OR
Go to Navplio and lose hearing on the way there. Make sister walk 800 steps to castle, which closes just before you reach the top. Then dangle of the edge of the parapet. Eat a crepe with blue cheese and apricot jam, astounding the natives. Also eat gelato and bougatsa. Something about a birthday.
Well, that about sums it up. Should be a good time!
Well, since Carly LaBuff has all my pictures from my sisters' visit, I'm reduced to words, the granola of everyone's cyber experience. So you can understand my quandary. Like granola, my words will appeal to a small minority of health-conscious individuals, but the rest of mankind must be made to see the value of my nutritional prose, or be left to wallow in a pictorally-dependent state of mental obesity.
But everyone likes itineraries, no? It's fun to look at what you are going to do; keep away from today and in the never present land of intentions! So read below in expectation of what you will never actually experience :)
Saturday: Fly into Athens. Be super-excited that there are trees and rocks. Hold strongly to the belief that the only reason you are going to take pictures is because your boyfriend said you should. Eat a delicious home-cooked meal of asian-style bbq pork, goat cheese salad, veggie stirfry, and two kinds of strawberry pie. Sleep like the baby you always wished you were.
OR
Fly into Athens. Act no different than if you were driving to Walmart to take back a pack of batteries on a Thursday afternoon. Imagine dancing. Alot. Eat a delicious home-cooked meal of goat-cheese salad, veggie stirfry, two kinds of strawberry pie. Sleep a dream of Scrabble-like dimensions.
Sunday: Take the bus to a land called Laurion. Follow a strangely cold girl around the Greek countryside for 2.5 hours, ending up only 3 miles from where you started. Eat a tasty lunch of lamb served by the biggest Jerk in Greece. Wait for the bus for an hour. Hail a cab which ends up being a Benz, go to a gorgeous cape. Enjoy scenic views and conclude that this was the best day ever. Still pretend that you're only taking pictures for your boyfriend.
OR
Take the bus to a land called Laurion. Have no clue where you're walking and don't care. Watch others eat a murdered animal. Stay peaceful in the midst of adversity. Climb down rocks at cape and splash in water. Play scrabble on the bus home, taking home the ultimate prize.
Monday: Sleep in (finally) and go see ancient marketplace. Act interested as puffed up brother spouts useless information about buildings most people are content to pose goofily in front of and move on. Understand that brother does this to justify how many times he's been to the Acropolis. Start to realize that you are taking pictures willingly, but don't tell anyone. Go meet friend while brother goes to class. Watch friend's annoying friend eat in front of you, then make you pay a euro for no reason. Buy sandals without haggling, even though there are visibly loose threads. Shrug and move on with your life.
OR
Sleep in (finally) and go see ancient marketplace. Daydream while brother talks. Follow sister to meet friend, who has brought the most annoying girl on the planet. Tied with most of the other girls you know. Imagine ways to eliminate her and get away with it. Daydream about Native Americans and Reapers (Grim and Chipper). Buy worry beads without haggling, because you're not into it. Shrug and move on with your life.
Tuesday: Follow group of gamey archaeologists around Athens. Listen to really long report and find it more interesting than most of the archaeologists. Take an unnecessary amount of pictures. Watch brother flounder through presentation, and comfort his self-deprecating persona. Eat delicious dinner and then go to the smokiest pub in the world. Socialize lawyer-style.
OR
Follow group of gamey archaeologists around Athens. Reach all new levels of daydreaming skill. Did your brother just present? Eat delicious dinner and then go to the smokiest pub in the world. Instead of talking to people, dance to the random music until a Greek man comes up to you and asks if you can do the "Island" dance. Act confused until he does it himself in the most awkward fashion possible, and then realize he is trying to say "Ireland." Do a jig to make him leave.
Wednesday: Get up late. Go to Dali exhibit, understand nothing of the Greek placards. FINALLY go to the Acropolis. Get tired of making itinerary.
Thursday: Get up late and go to Archaeological Museum. Realize there's nothing to do in Greece except look at old stones. After lunch, go into mountains to see monastary. Take pictures of flowers. Look forward to having a day where you don't walk 15 miles.
OR
Get up late and go to Archaeological Museum. Be thankful that sister only wants to see the first floor. After lunch, go into mountains to see monastary. Find small chapel with pure intuition.
Friday: Go to island with best pistachios in world, only to stand for two hours listening to nice but oblivious Austrian man talk about walls. Eat scrumptious lunch and then finally get some pistachios. Freeze on boat ride, despite LaBuff sister push-up contest
Saturday: Go to Navplio in the uneasy stick-shift-driving hands of brother. Scream because he has to brake harder than normal, shattering everyone's ear drums. Enjoy the quaint streets of Navplio, eating a tyropita, a crepe, gelato, and a bougatsa (aka, Mougatu). Celebrate some 31 year old's birthday, whose resolve to "get lit" ends when she realizes that 3 glasses of wine is more soporific than crunk-inducing.
OR
Go to Navplio and lose hearing on the way there. Make sister walk 800 steps to castle, which closes just before you reach the top. Then dangle of the edge of the parapet. Eat a crepe with blue cheese and apricot jam, astounding the natives. Also eat gelato and bougatsa. Something about a birthday.
Well, that about sums it up. Should be a good time!
posted by Jeremy LaBuff at 3:16 PM
2 comments
