Nuke It
Inversely proportional to wine, cheese, and war, my stories become less detailed, stripped of the vigor of the present—in a word, stale—the longer they sit untold. So I’m hoping that the microwaves of reverse chronology will help to refreshen this day-old donut.
Last night, I hit my head, crammed into a sleeper train compartment that “seats” 6, and woke up to a missing iPod. Crying foul in my head, I soon unearthed the missing instrument in anticipation of my coming excavatory activities. My reward: a lemon yoghurt, some breakfast tea, and an article on Greek fears (and even hopes) about the upcoming smoking ban. My lesson: second-hand smoking is not an idea in Greece, and so cannot be refuted or believed in.
Out of a children’s book, my laundry was eaten by a machine designed to break itself. After five days of trying to digest my unmentionables, the unwieldy beast spewed its prey forth at the behest of an Albanian sorcerer. It was unclear which was more compelling, his incantation or the “incense” that engulfed his persona (non gratis, post factum).
7: Number of Euros per hour a two-thirds band makes performing on the pedestrian walk of the Acropolis in the hours before sunset. 2.5: number of times said partial band played its set. 2: number of girls mesmerized by a certain male member of the band; also the number of times these girls contributed to the cause. 0: number of times we sang the words to “Oh Suzanna” correctly. 1: ranking of “Oh Suzanna” on the list of most popular songs we performed; also the number of cocaine addicts that danced to our music.
A reason to get facebook: because my pictures from Cappadocia, Slovakia (including my precocious nephews), and many other wonders of Turkey, are there and I’m not wasting time putting them up here.
A couple warnings about Cappadocia, however. First, if you are an “enemy” don’t visit the underground cities, because you will be killed, whether trapped in the narrow tunnels, falling into a hidden pit, or surprised from behind a rolling bolder door. Second, no, Star Wars was not filmed anywhere in the area. Third, don’t watch Borat within several months of going, unless you want to be obnoxious.
Last night, I hit my head, crammed into a sleeper train compartment that “seats” 6, and woke up to a missing iPod. Crying foul in my head, I soon unearthed the missing instrument in anticipation of my coming excavatory activities. My reward: a lemon yoghurt, some breakfast tea, and an article on Greek fears (and even hopes) about the upcoming smoking ban. My lesson: second-hand smoking is not an idea in Greece, and so cannot be refuted or believed in.
Out of a children’s book, my laundry was eaten by a machine designed to break itself. After five days of trying to digest my unmentionables, the unwieldy beast spewed its prey forth at the behest of an Albanian sorcerer. It was unclear which was more compelling, his incantation or the “incense” that engulfed his persona (non gratis, post factum).
7: Number of Euros per hour a two-thirds band makes performing on the pedestrian walk of the Acropolis in the hours before sunset. 2.5: number of times said partial band played its set. 2: number of girls mesmerized by a certain male member of the band; also the number of times these girls contributed to the cause. 0: number of times we sang the words to “Oh Suzanna” correctly. 1: ranking of “Oh Suzanna” on the list of most popular songs we performed; also the number of cocaine addicts that danced to our music.
A reason to get facebook: because my pictures from Cappadocia, Slovakia (including my precocious nephews), and many other wonders of Turkey, are there and I’m not wasting time putting them up here.
A couple warnings about Cappadocia, however. First, if you are an “enemy” don’t visit the underground cities, because you will be killed, whether trapped in the narrow tunnels, falling into a hidden pit, or surprised from behind a rolling bolder door. Second, no, Star Wars was not filmed anywhere in the area. Third, don’t watch Borat within several months of going, unless you want to be obnoxious.
posted by Jeremy LaBuff at 4:11 AM
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