Hero Today, Gone Tomorrow

This past Sunday, I participated in the Athens Marathon, in case you didn't get the memo.
Usually, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I was so inspired by the story of Pheidippides yelling "Nike" and dying (before he could reap the harvest of his multi-billion-dollar corporate descendant), that I painted this vase of my fellow competitors. Tracey was so touched by the intricate depiction, not to mention the bold colors, that she declared me hero for the day, and Toby made me Korean food (finally!) Then they both made fun of my marathon chafage, or rather the slow waddle-walk it induced, the rest of the day.

But all that has little to do with the title of this post. Although I was Tracey's Sunday-hero, she herself continues to perform feats of strength that put Mr. Costanza's Festivus rites to dire shame. I've already mentioned her display of indomitable will to include us among the elite of the friends of Democracy. Even more impressive, however, is her (no longer, as of this momen) secret superpower: getting robbed without losing anything. This magical skill was first unleashed several weeks ago, when a group of Bulgarians surrounded her and took her wallet. Ignoring the empirically-founded uselessness of the Greek police force, she went to the station and, lo and behold! they had her wallet. The only thing missing was the turmeric she had just purchased. Apparently her talent does not include exotic spices.
Big deal, you say? One time could be a coincidence? Well not but the day before yesterday, I tell you, the same Tracey had unwillingly donated her bike to a cracked-out native. By the time she had managed to report the incident to the authorities, the addict had already sold the bike to an unfortunate Bangladeshi. Unfortunate, because when the cops saw him, they rode him down and pummeled him and wanted to arrest him even after Tracey told them he wasn't "their man." (This was so that they could justify having pummeled him).
If you're STILL not convinced, I just stole a kleenex from her apartment. I'll let you know if she gets it back or not.

The second part of my title refers to the tragic departure of our dear friend Toby. Ostensibly, she has to move to Thessaloniki because she's studying the film festival there, but we all know that she is afraid of commitment and runs away anytime she finds a good thing for fear of messing it up. But her departure is a big problem because now we don't have a minority to laugh at our racist jokes to make them ok. What to do...

Now for the really bad news: I'm off to Berlin and Amsterdam for a week, so that means a good ten days or more without a post. I know, this will be rough, but try shaving with a rusty butter knife and lemonade aftershave sometime.