Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Blog
Apparently my blog sucks now.
Apparently I've lost that je-ne-sais-quoi that kept millions from doing their homework in its prime.
Apparently I should just relegate myself to the more mundane rambling, summary, trivial, faux-important, pretenses to a diary that pollute this wonderful space of cyberity.
Well, I was never one for appearances, so suck on this:
Last week's frivolity accelerated to unheard of levels, and by "unheard of" I mean about half the level of a down week at Penn. Nonetheless, it actually made headlines in Greece. Well, the murder scandal that I don't give two baklavas about did. So listen up!
Tuesday night: typical darts night at the "English pub." Typical, that is, until DSka challenged me to a late night. I responded as only a brotha can. 30 minutes, one gay club, and an 8 euro cover later I was rotating on the female version of Danish school. Before I could finish my rounds, this thin blonde starts dancing with me, givin' all the scandals..
..long story short, I'm about to make my move, then she puts on the 180 so I query: You gots a BF? "I'm married and have a 2 year old daughter. Plus I'm probably too--" But I had already stopped listening, forcing all my friends to pull one HARD. See Figure 1.
Friday night: So Saturday is a big Carnival party, which means we're gonna take it easy, for sure. Except that we're awesome. So after some vino, DSka and I head out to find the best Margaritas in Athens. Once supplied with mirth, we set out to find the amateur Portuguese water polo team. But first, I thought I'd practice my Greek with a giant group of darkness-enhanced shorties.
Me: Do you like Americans?
Female Chorus: Yes, they are very nice!
Me: Well, my friend over there is American, you should come talk to us (DSka was skulking sto bar)
Female Chorus: We must never part from each other! Together we are strong!
Me: Gotcha [runs to bar] Dude, you must come, these girls like Americans!
DSka: BrrbblllleImdrunkbbbttty
But just as I was about to sputter a reply, our quest was at an end: Portuguese amateur water polot team! And yeah, nothing else really interesting happened after that.
Saturday Night: The Big Dance. And by big dance I mean Tzos at his midwestern raving best. Look for the video on YouTube in the near fyutch. Anyways, I summon the pictostory!
Sannan is creative. Sannan made herself into a robot. Sannan doesn't appreciate her creativity. Sannan discarded her robot hat and I had to bring it back for her. But Sannan loves my Pampered Chef citrus peeler. Plus she just got a package with Reese's Pieces.
This gloomy picture captures the genious of Classic Andy. I mean, who else could make a hat of such beauty. Katie's laughter is that of appreciation. Unlike the laughter later when she showed some randoms how she had lost the middle star of Orion's belt but thrusting her hips like an empowered 50 year old menopause warrior.
Oh yeah, I went as the In the Year 2000 sketch from Conan O'Brian. It was amazing how all the foreigners knew what it was instantly. And by instantly, I mean not without explanation and a smirk that says "Good one."
Anyhoo, I've included what I thought were the best ones for a general audience below. If you haven't seen the bit on Conan, seriously don't even read it, and consider yourself lucky I don't hate you.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Katerina will be the first classicist suspended by the APA for using performance enhancing drugs. When asked why she did it, she will say, "My talk was a little over, and I thought some cocaine would help speed things up.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Nick and Joanie will still be the most photogenic couple ever. Target will sign them to model for its photo frames, making them also the most thrown-out-after-purchase couple.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Greg and Meg will name their son Deg to keep the rhyme thing going, only to realize too late that this doesn't work so well with their nicknames: Greg-O and Meg-O.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Sara will meet Al Gore and ask him why he didn't give more specific solutions in his movie. Gore will chuckle and say he just wanted to be famous again, causing Sara to put him in a sleeper hold and knit a cute little sweater out of his beard. Gore keeps the beard.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Now if only I could replicate the Walker, Texas Ranger lever...
Apparently I've lost that je-ne-sais-quoi that kept millions from doing their homework in its prime.
Apparently I should just relegate myself to the more mundane rambling, summary, trivial, faux-important, pretenses to a diary that pollute this wonderful space of cyberity.
Well, I was never one for appearances, so suck on this:
Last week's frivolity accelerated to unheard of levels, and by "unheard of" I mean about half the level of a down week at Penn. Nonetheless, it actually made headlines in Greece. Well, the murder scandal that I don't give two baklavas about did. So listen up!
Tuesday night: typical darts night at the "English pub." Typical, that is, until DSka challenged me to a late night. I responded as only a brotha can. 30 minutes, one gay club, and an 8 euro cover later I was rotating on the female version of Danish school. Before I could finish my rounds, this thin blonde starts dancing with me, givin' all the scandals..
..long story short, I'm about to make my move, then she puts on the 180 so I query: You gots a BF? "I'm married and have a 2 year old daughter. Plus I'm probably too--" But I had already stopped listening, forcing all my friends to pull one HARD. See Figure 1.Friday night: So Saturday is a big Carnival party, which means we're gonna take it easy, for sure. Except that we're awesome. So after some vino, DSka and I head out to find the best Margaritas in Athens. Once supplied with mirth, we set out to find the amateur Portuguese water polo team. But first, I thought I'd practice my Greek with a giant group of darkness-enhanced shorties.
Me: Do you like Americans?
Female Chorus: Yes, they are very nice!
Me: Well, my friend over there is American, you should come talk to us (DSka was skulking sto bar)
Female Chorus: We must never part from each other! Together we are strong!
Me: Gotcha [runs to bar] Dude, you must come, these girls like Americans!
DSka: BrrbblllleImdrunkbbbttty
But just as I was about to sputter a reply, our quest was at an end: Portuguese amateur water polot team! And yeah, nothing else really interesting happened after that.
Saturday Night: The Big Dance. And by big dance I mean Tzos at his midwestern raving best. Look for the video on YouTube in the near fyutch. Anyways, I summon the pictostory!
Sannan is creative. Sannan made herself into a robot. Sannan doesn't appreciate her creativity. Sannan discarded her robot hat and I had to bring it back for her. But Sannan loves my Pampered Chef citrus peeler. Plus she just got a package with Reese's Pieces.
This gloomy picture captures the genious of Classic Andy. I mean, who else could make a hat of such beauty. Katie's laughter is that of appreciation. Unlike the laughter later when she showed some randoms how she had lost the middle star of Orion's belt but thrusting her hips like an empowered 50 year old menopause warrior.
Oh yeah, I went as the In the Year 2000 sketch from Conan O'Brian. It was amazing how all the foreigners knew what it was instantly. And by instantly, I mean not without explanation and a smirk that says "Good one."
Anyhoo, I've included what I thought were the best ones for a general audience below. If you haven't seen the bit on Conan, seriously don't even read it, and consider yourself lucky I don't hate you.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Katerina will be the first classicist suspended by the APA for using performance enhancing drugs. When asked why she did it, she will say, "My talk was a little over, and I thought some cocaine would help speed things up.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Nick and Joanie will still be the most photogenic couple ever. Target will sign them to model for its photo frames, making them also the most thrown-out-after-purchase couple.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Greg and Meg will name their son Deg to keep the rhyme thing going, only to realize too late that this doesn't work so well with their nicknames: Greg-O and Meg-O.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Sara will meet Al Gore and ask him why he didn't give more specific solutions in his movie. Gore will chuckle and say he just wanted to be famous again, causing Sara to put him in a sleeper hold and knit a cute little sweater out of his beard. Gore keeps the beard.
In the Year 2000.......In the Year 2000!
Now if only I could replicate the Walker, Texas Ranger lever...
posted by Jeremy LaBuff at 8:18 AM
2 Comments:
Jeremy, the walker texas ranger lever is basically a hockey stick. or maybe a broom handle with a yellow ball on it. You could do it.
I love your costume!
Don't you just hate when girls with LT BFs or husbands send all the wrong signals? Although, I suppose I can see her side of the story...
later!
Oh Ieramias. I hate to say this, but perhaps your experience with Ms. Moral Void (aka the married mother) was worth it if only for the timeless piece of art it spawned.
And by the way, Helene made my robot headpiece, so I suppose my offence is even worse than previously imagined: I cast off my trip girlfriend's handiwork!
I surely deserve a good drubbing about the head.
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